The ego in me has shown its true purpose for many years, it desperately wants self destruction. It cannot have it, if "I" die, the ego dies with me. It wants desperately to kill itself but wants the feeling of self destruction even more. For what feels good to me is painful to ego, and what is painful to me the ego loves. The ego in me has many times forced its hand when there have been lapses in consciousness and has developed many insane reasons to support its arguments. One argument it uses "my" mother's unconsciousness, I have tried to discuss unconsciousness with her and the workings of the ego but to no avail. The ego she has assigned me views my words as meaningless, the truth is change for her would be too painful. The ego in her goes about dismissing what is wrong and lets it linger so the painful feelings would not surface, thus most likely leading to surrender. But this cannot happen, it is counterproductive in the ego's stance. If one already has a heavy ego then making it more heavier will destroy itself as the fires will burn themselves up. The ego is very clever. But that is all it is.
As this blogging occurs the ego makes a home for itself in "my" split mind and rests for it is safe. Identification is what I have invited and continue to invite. What I have forgotten is impossible to forget, but it is so. The foundation of this is the ego's impossibility, there is nothing there. The ego takes up no space but can influence it, this supports connectivity. The ego cannot let the influencer know this because it would lead to liberation from the ego. As the ego only lets certain things into conscious awareness. One instance of proof of connectivity will prove the ego otherwise and will diminish its existence. The ego is forever fighting as the holy spirit is forever allowing. Self destruction cannot take place if there is not self. Connectivity supports the being of one self, the ego cannot understand this because it is uncouscious, it does not know the feeling of being, whereas connectivity goes directly against its position of separation it so often produces and enforces. However, truth need no defense and eventually turns up everywhere suffering appears.